Warcraft, Warcraft Demon Hunters, Warcraft Writing

Power When Powerless

When I created my female blood elf demon hunter Srilari it was sort of on a whim and just something fun to do. But then when I really threw myself into her and leveled her from 100 to 120 in two days, I began to wonder why. Although she’s really fun to play and I love her chill attitude, it’s not like me to concentrate on one character with such ferocity. Yes, I’d been working on gearing up my hunter Sriset for raid, but leveling and gearing Srilari felt different. After some self-reflection, I figured out why I was so obsessed.

Leveling and gearing Srilari gave me a feeling of power when I was powerless. Powerless because my oldest daughter’s move into college was delayed by waiting for a negative COVID-19 test and there was nothing any of us could do but wait. She was so frustrated and anxious and as her mother, I just wanted to fix it all and make it right. But I couldn’t.

What I could do though was counter that feeling of being powerless with something that had power, a demon hunter. I could power her through levels, I could beat the crud out of baddies, I could burn things with my angry fel-fired stare. It was all within my control and it gave me an outlet for my own anxiety and worry that would’ve driven me crazy otherwise.

Sure, I could’ve used that time to try and gear up my hunter better but it seems pretty challenging trying to do that solo at this point. With Srilari, I could do it all on my own by quests, bonus objectives, invasions, and running random dungeons. As of today, her item level is 435, which is better than my paladin I’d been trying to gear up for what felt like forever. I got Srilari there in a matter of days with lucky breaks on heroic Darkshore, dungeons, emissary quests, and some world quests. I was also given a nice belt by a fellow player in the Nya raid this past weekend, which definitely helped!

My Nya raid warcraft family was nice enough to let me run Srilari instead of Sriset through the Nya raid this past weekend so I could work out my frustrations. I didn’t do that great on Srilari as her item level was in the low 400s at that point, but even on decently geared Sriset, I don’t do so hot. No matter what class I play, I’m still me. I can remember raid mechanics and some instructions but getting my brain and fingers to coordinate to properly execute them is another matter. I really wish I could contribute to the big boss fights better, but I’m still floundering there, no mater what toon I play. Everyone else survives the Wrathion fight now while I’m toast and that black dragon is about on my last nerve.

But the group is still extremely nice to me and forgiving of my missteps and that’s very precious to me. Perhaps I’m just meant to be the quirky, perky, lost, chatty, sarcastic and squished member of the group taking screenies from the floor rather than contributing to actual damage, who knows. N’Zoth works in mysterious ways…

Regardless, there’s more to Srilari’s power than just being a demon hunter. I’m branching out with her and doing things like fishing, cooking, and leather working on her. The fishing is required for BfA cooking and as I want to make the visions food that can help me and also sell well, she took up fishing. Some leather working patterns dropped for me during N’zoth assaults that would be very nice gear upgrades for Srilari, so I’m leveling that up on her. It’s been a long time since I’ve actually created gear for my own character and I see it as another form of power/empowerment.

Srilari’s cloak is rank four now thanks to my daughter and a wonderful monk friend helping me kill the main boss in visions. To get beyond rank four I’ll have to clear side areas and considering how poorly I did trying to solo the main boss the one time I tried it, the cloak and visions are on the back burner for now. Several members of the Nya raid group have already helped me run Sriset and my other side projects of my paladin and warlock, so I think I’ve missed the boat with Srilari. Hopefully I can get geared well enough to survive visions solo on her, time will tell.

As happened with Sriset after running Nya a few times when the feelings of being under-powered sent me back to hunter school, I’ve gone back to demon hunter school on Srilari. I mean I don’t think I ever really knew how to play the class right and I usually played the vengeance spec because it seemed easier to me, but I’m loving havoc and learning what it can do. Thanks to some reports one of the Twitter Warcraft crew ran, I was able to see what I was doing wrong with Srilari in Nya and I’ve adjusted my rotation and talents a bit. It’s helped immensely in normal play and I feel even more invested in her now.

I have fun on Srilari and fleshing her out has been a perfect distraction from my feelings of being powerless to help my daughter. Now that my oldest daughter is at college, Srilari is still a good distraction from feeling lonely and missing my fellow Warcraft playing girl. As a mother, my girls come first and I really will sacrifice anything for them. Perhaps that’s why I can relate to Srilari sometimes, we’ve both sacrificed a lot for what’s most important to us. I will, however, be keeping my eyes in my eye sockets because I’m clumsy enough as it is and even spectral sight can’t fix that.

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